Better understand your baby's cries

First of all, you should know that a healthy baby can cry for several hours a day during the first few months of life. This is their main way of communicating and expressing themselves to their parents and those around them. Through their crying, they are expressing a need and trying to send you a message. A baby never cries without reason. Among the main messages conveyed by crying are:

• Hunger: if they try to grab your finger when you touch the corners of their mouth, they are certainly hungry;
• Tiredness;
• Infant colic;
• Constipation ;
• Pain;
• The need to express strong emotions: crying to release tension is very common in infants, who may cry early in the evening to release the tension they have built up during the day;
• The need to be held by their parents;
• A feeling of discomfort: a wet diaper, being too cold or too hot, an uncomfortable burp…

It is normal not to be able to understand your baby's crying right from the start. Do not doubt your parenting skills if you cannot calm them down every time! Over time, you will learn to interpret their crying better. And sometimes, for example with crying to release tension, there is nothing you can do except comfort your baby and wait for the crying fit to subside on its own. If in doubt, and if the crying seems unusually prolonged or severe, do not hesitate to ask your pediatrician for advice.

The answer is no! It is not recommended to let a baby cry, because they do not do it to annoy or manipulate you: before age 5, a child does not have the intellectual maturity to manipulate you or manage their emotions. It is therefore important not to ignore your baby's crying and to respond to the need they wanted to express. This will make your baby feel heard, reassured, and safe.

Most parents will, sooner or later, feel a sense of exhaustion and irritability in the face of their baby's incessant crying. This is completely normal and does not make you a bad parent! When you feel that you are no longer able to bear your baby's crying, you must pass the baton to a trusted person or put your baby safely in their crib and take a few minutes to go catch your breath in another room. Once you are calm, you can return to your little one who will feel your calm and settle down more easily.

To calm your baby, you must first try to understand why they are crying. Start by checking if all their basic needs are met: Are they hungry? Do they need sleep? Are they too hot? Do they need a diaper change? Are they in pain somewhere? If everything seems fine, but your baby continues to cry, here are a few suggestions to try and soothe them:

• Talk to your baby in a soft, reassuring voice, and rock them in your arms to comfort them and make them feel safe;
• Provide a calm environment free from external stimulation;
• Massage their tummy, gently stroke their back, cheek...
• Change their position or try to help them burp if they seem uncomfortable;
• If you breastfeed, offer them the breast, as babies generally calm down when nursing;
• Go out for a walk;
• Practice skin-to-skin contact;
• Swaddle your baby: some babies love it, while others cannot stand the feeling. You will have to try it to find out, as this technique can be very effective at soothing infants.
• Stay calm: babies pick up on adults' emotions. If you are stressed, it can make the crying worse and prevent your baby from calming down.

And above all, trust yourself and do not feel guilty about the crying. All babies cry; it is perfectly normal, and sometimes it takes time to manage to calm them.

We want to hear from you!

Did you know that babies use crying as a means of communication? Do you have any tips to share for calming crying and soothing your baby? Share your most authentic experiences with us at contact@biostime.fr or via a private message on Instagram @biostimefr. It is the best way for parents to support one another and approach this period with less anxiety!

Sources for the article

• Mpedia. [Online] My child's crying: understanding and soothing it [Accessed 22/06/23] Available: https://www.mpedia.fr/art-pleurs-de-mon-bebe/ 
• Junier, H. Practical guide for early childhood professionals: 38 fact sheets for dealing with every situation. 2018; Paris: Dunod; 90-94
• Naître et grandir. [Online] Baby's crying [Accessed 22/06/2023] Available: https://naitreetgrandir.com/fr/etape/0_12_mois/soins/fiche.aspx?doc=naitre-grandir-bebe-pleurs-comprendre